Ages 5-13 · Book 5, Empathy · 4,299 places
When Someone Else Wins
A friend's good news landing badly is normal and almost never discussed, which is why children think it means something bad about them.
Built on Ellis Abel and the Helping Hand — “What matters more than earning a Gold Star?” A character series, not a curriculum with a worldview attached.
The five sessions
- Session 1
Read the story and stop at the moment Maya's work is ruined
- Session 2
Ask what Ellis Abel stood to lose by helping
- Session 3
Name the harder thing: telling the truth about a mistake
- Session 4
Each child names one person they will notice this week
- Session 5
Follow up by name and ask what they noticed
Questions leaders ask
Is when someone else wins in your area a religious program?
No. Ellis Abel is a character series. Each volume carries one named core value — this one is empathy — and the story does the teaching. There is no doctrine in it, nothing to opt out of, and it is used in public schools, libraries and secular programs as readily as anywhere else.
What ages does this work for?
Ages 5-13. The story is read aloud, so a child who cannot read yet is fully in it, and the discussion prompts are written in two bands so one adult can hold a mixed-age room.
We have tried things like this in your area before and stopped. Why is this different?
Because it is ten minutes and it survives a missed night. There is no streak to break and nothing to catch up on — you pick up at the next chapter.
What if my child will not talk about it?
Then read it anyway and say nothing. Children answer days later, in the car, about something else entirely. The prompts are there when they are ready, not a toll you have to pay to finish the book.
The rules that make it work
Helping has to cost something
Kindness that is free teaches nothing, and children over about eight already know it. The cost is named out loud in every session.
Notice first — it is an attention skill
Empathy gets taught as a feeling children are supposed to summon. It starts as noticing one specific person, which is trainable and testable.
Owning a mistake is the harder lesson
Helping a friend is easier than admitting you were the one who caused the problem. The book teaches both, and this is the one adults skip.
Do not announce it
The moment helping becomes a thing you are seen doing, it becomes a performance. The follow-up asks what changed for the other person, never how the helper felt.
Success is bigger than the award
The gold star is in the title for a reason. A room that only celebrates outcomes has already taught the lesson this book is arguing with.
Adults go first, with a real mistake
An adult naming something they got wrong, at a cost, changes a room faster than any activity in it.
When Someone Else Wins by metro area
Northeast
- When Someone Else Wins — New York, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Philadelphia, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Boston, MA
- When Someone Else Wins — Pittsburgh, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Providence, RI
- When Someone Else Wins — Hartford, CT
- When Someone Else Wins — Buffalo, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Rochester, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Bridgeport, CT
- When Someone Else Wins — Albany, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Worcester, MA
- When Someone Else Wins — Allentown, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Poughkeepsie metro area, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Syracuse, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Harrisburg, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — New Haven, CT
- When Someone Else Wins — Portland, ME
- When Someone Else Wins — Scranton, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Lancaster, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — York, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Springfield, MA
- When Someone Else Wins — Waterbury, CT
- When Someone Else Wins — Reading, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Manchester, NH
- When Someone Else Wins — Trenton, NJ
- When Someone Else Wins — Atlantic City, NJ
- When Someone Else Wins — Utica, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Norwich, CT
- When Someone Else Wins — Erie, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Binghamton, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Barnstable, MA
- When Someone Else Wins — Burlington, VT
- When Someone Else Wins — Kingston, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Amherst, MA
- When Someone Else Wins — Chambersburg, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Bangor, ME
- When Someone Else Wins — State College, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Vineland, NJ
- When Someone Else Wins — Lebanon, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Johnstown, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Pittsfield, MA
- When Someone Else Wins — Glens Falls, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Altoona, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Lewiston, ME
- When Someone Else Wins — Williamsport, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Watertown, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Gettysburg, PA
- When Someone Else Wins — Ithaca, NY
- When Someone Else Wins — Elmira, NY
Midwest
- When Someone Else Wins — Chicago, IL
- When Someone Else Wins — Detroit, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Minneapolis, MN
- When Someone Else Wins — St. Louis, MO
- When Someone Else Wins — Cincinnati, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Kansas City, MO
- When Someone Else Wins — Columbus, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Indianapolis, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Cleveland, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Milwaukee, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Grand Rapids, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Omaha, NE
- When Someone Else Wins — Dayton, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Des Moines, IA
- When Someone Else Wins — Madison, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Akron, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Wichita, KS
- When Someone Else Wins — Toledo, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Springfield, MO
- When Someone Else Wins — Lansing, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Fort Wayne, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Youngstown, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Flint, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Canton, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Davenport, IA
- When Someone Else Wins — Ann Arbor, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Peoria, IL
- When Someone Else Wins — Lincoln, NE
- When Someone Else Wins — Rockford, IL
- When Someone Else Wins — Green Bay, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — South Bend, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Sioux Falls, SD
- When Someone Else Wins — Duluth, MN
- When Someone Else Wins — Cedar Rapids, IA
- When Someone Else Wins — Evansville, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Fargo, ND
- When Someone Else Wins — Kalamazoo, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Appleton, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Champaign, IL
- When Someone Else Wins — Topeka, KS
- When Someone Else Wins — Rochester, MN
- When Someone Else Wins — Lafayette, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Columbia, MO
- When Someone Else Wins — Joplin, MO
- When Someone Else Wins — Elkhart, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Springfield, IL
- When Someone Else Wins — St. Cloud, MN
- When Someone Else Wins — Racine, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Saginaw, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Iowa City, IA
- When Someone Else Wins — Muskegon, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Eau Claire, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Oshkosh, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Bloomington, IL
- When Someone Else Wins — La Crosse, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Terre Haute, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Waterloo, IA
- When Someone Else Wins — Kenosha, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Janesville, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Bloomington, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Jackson, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Traverse City, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Rapid City, SD
- When Someone Else Wins — Monroe, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Jefferson City, MO
- When Someone Else Wins — Niles, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Sioux City, IA
- When Someone Else Wins — Bismarck, ND
- When Someone Else Wins — Wausau, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Manhattan, KS
- When Someone Else Wins — Springfield, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Battle Creek, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Ames, IA
- When Someone Else Wins — Mansfield, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Lawrence, KS
- When Someone Else Wins — St. Joseph, MO
- When Someone Else Wins — Sheboygan, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Muncie, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Sandusky, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Michigan City, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Kankakee, IL
- When Someone Else Wins — Grand Forks, ND
- When Someone Else Wins — Mankato, MN
- When Someone Else Wins — Fond du Lac, WI
- When Someone Else Wins — Bay City, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Lima, OH
- When Someone Else Wins — Dubuque, IA
- When Someone Else Wins — Decatur, IL
- When Someone Else Wins — Cape Girardeau, MO
- When Someone Else Wins — Columbus, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Kokomo, IN
- When Someone Else Wins — Midland, MI
- When Someone Else Wins — Grand Island, NE
- When Someone Else Wins — Minot, ND
South
- When Someone Else Wins — Dallas, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Houston, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Atlanta, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Washington, DC
- When Someone Else Wins — Miami, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Tampa, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Orlando, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Charlotte, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Baltimore, MD
- When Someone Else Wins — San Antonio, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Austin, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Nashville, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Virginia Beach, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Jacksonville, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Raleigh, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Oklahoma City, OK
- When Someone Else Wins — Louisville, KY
- When Someone Else Wins — Richmond, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Memphis, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Birmingham, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Tulsa, OK
- When Someone Else Wins — Greenville, SC
- When Someone Else Wins — New Orleans, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Knoxville, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Sarasota metro area, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — McAllen, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Charleston, SC
- When Someone Else Wins — Baton Rouge, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — El Paso, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Columbia, SC
- When Someone Else Wins — Cape Coral, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Lakeland, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Greensboro, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Little Rock, AR
- When Someone Else Wins — Deltona, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Winston-Salem, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Palm Bay, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Augusta, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Durham, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Fayetteville, AR
- When Someone Else Wins — Jackson, MS
- When Someone Else Wins — Chattanooga, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Port St. Lucie, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Huntsville, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Pensacola, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Lexington, KY
- When Someone Else Wins — Killeen, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Wilmington, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Corpus Christi, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Ocala, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Savannah, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Brownsville, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Gulfport, MS
- When Someone Else Wins — Myrtle Beach, SC
- When Someone Else Wins — Lafayette, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Asheville, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Naples, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Mobile, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Spartanburg, SC
- When Someone Else Wins — Beaumont, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Tallahassee, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Fayetteville, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Montgomery, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Shreveport, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Hickory, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Lubbock, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Huntington, WV
- When Someone Else Wins — Gainesville, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Clarksville, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Columbus, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Roanoke, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Hagerstown, MD
- When Someone Else Wins — Fort Walton Beach metro area, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Kingsport, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Waco, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Longview, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — College Station, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Tuscaloosa, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Laredo, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Slidell, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Amarillo, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Lynchburg, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Daphne, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Tyler, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Lake Charles, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Hilton Head Island, SC
- When Someone Else Wins — Macon, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Fort Smith, AR
- When Someone Else Wins — Panama City, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Charlottesville, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Gainesville, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Athens, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Monroe, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Punta Gorda, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Jacksonville, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Johnson City, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Lexington Park, MD
- When Someone Else Wins — Warner Robins, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Auburn, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Florence, SC
- When Someone Else Wins — Charleston, WV
- When Someone Else Wins — Houma, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Bowling Green, KY
- When Someone Else Wins — Dover, DE
- When Someone Else Wins — Midland, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Burlington, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Abilene, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Jackson, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Greenville, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Blacksburg, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Odessa, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Vero Beach metro area, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Homosassa Springs, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Decatur, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Hattiesburg, MS
- When Someone Else Wins — The Villages metro area, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Florence, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Dothan, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Sherman, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Valdosta, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Winchester, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Wichita Falls, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Rocky Mount, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Alexandria, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Dalton, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Texarkana, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Albany, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Morgantown, WV
- When Someone Else Wins — Hammond, LA
- When Someone Else Wins — Harrisonburg, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Jonesboro, AR
- When Someone Else Wins — Wheeling, WV
- When Someone Else Wins — Cleveland, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Salisbury, MD
- When Someone Else Wins — Staunton, VA
- When Someone Else Wins — Morristown, TN
- When Someone Else Wins — Elizabethtown, KY
- When Someone Else Wins — Lawton, OK
- When Someone Else Wins — Goldsboro, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — San Angelo, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Brunswick, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Anniston, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Owensboro, KY
- When Someone Else Wins — Steubenville, WV
- When Someone Else Wins — Sebring, FL
- When Someone Else Wins — Pinehurst, NC
- When Someone Else Wins — Beckley, WV
- When Someone Else Wins — Sumter, SC
- When Someone Else Wins — Gadsden, AL
- When Someone Else Wins — Paducah, KY
- When Someone Else Wins — Rome, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Victoria, TX
- When Someone Else Wins — Hot Springs, AR
- When Someone Else Wins — Hinesville, GA
- When Someone Else Wins — Parkersburg, WV
- When Someone Else Wins — Enid, OK
- When Someone Else Wins — Eagle Pass, TX
West
- When Someone Else Wins — Los Angeles, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Phoenix, AZ
- When Someone Else Wins — Riverside, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — San Francisco, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Seattle, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — San Diego, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Denver, CO
- When Someone Else Wins — Portland, OR
- When Someone Else Wins — Sacramento, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Las Vegas, NV
- When Someone Else Wins — San Jose, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Salt Lake City, UT
- When Someone Else Wins — Fresno, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Tucson, AZ
- When Someone Else Wins — Honolulu, HI
- When Someone Else Wins — Bakersfield, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Albuquerque, NM
- When Someone Else Wins — Boise, ID
- When Someone Else Wins — Oxnard, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Stockton, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Colorado Springs, CO
- When Someone Else Wins — Provo, UT
- When Someone Else Wins — Ogden, UT
- When Someone Else Wins — Spokane, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Reno, NV
- When Someone Else Wins — Modesto, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Santa Rosa, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Visalia, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Vallejo, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Salem, OR
- When Someone Else Wins — Santa Maria, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Salinas, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Anchorage, AK
- When Someone Else Wins — Eugene, OR
- When Someone Else Wins — Greeley, CO
- When Someone Else Wins — Fort Collins, CO
- When Someone Else Wins — Boulder, CO
- When Someone Else Wins — Kennewick, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Olympia, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Merced, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Bremerton, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — San Luis Obispo, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Bend, OR
- When Someone Else Wins — Yakima, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Santa Cruz, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Prescott metro area, AZ
- When Someone Else Wins — Bellingham, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Las Cruces, NM
- When Someone Else Wins — Lake Havasu City, AZ
- When Someone Else Wins — Yuma, AZ
- When Someone Else Wins — Medford, OR
- When Someone Else Wins — St. George, UT
- When Someone Else Wins — Chico, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Billings, MT
- When Someone Else Wins — Coeur d'Alene, ID
- When Someone Else Wins — Yuba City, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Redding, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — El Centro, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Idaho Falls, ID
- When Someone Else Wins — Pueblo, CO
- When Someone Else Wins — Grand Junction, CO
- When Someone Else Wins — Logan, UT
- When Someone Else Wins — Maui, HI
- When Someone Else Wins — Santa Fe, NM
- When Someone Else Wins — Hanford, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Flagstaff, AZ
- When Someone Else Wins — Mount Vernon, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Napa, CA
- When Someone Else Wins — Albany, OR
- When Someone Else Wins — Bozeman, MT
- When Someone Else Wins — Missoula, MT
- When Someone Else Wins — Wenatchee, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Sierra Vista, AZ
- When Someone Else Wins — Twin Falls, ID
- When Someone Else Wins — Farmington, NM
- When Someone Else Wins — Longview, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Cheyenne, WY
- When Someone Else Wins — Corvallis, OR
- When Someone Else Wins — Helena, MT
- When Someone Else Wins — Fairbanks, AK
- When Someone Else Wins — Pocatello, ID
- When Someone Else Wins — Grants Pass, OR
- When Someone Else Wins — Great Falls, MT
- When Someone Else Wins — Casper, WY
- When Someone Else Wins — Lewiston, ID
- When Someone Else Wins — Walla Walla, WA
- When Someone Else Wins — Carson City, NV
Cities and all 3,143 US counties are covered too — every place page is live. The campaign sitemap lists every one.
