Ages 3-9 · Book 1, Accountability · 4,299 places
Listening the First Time
Repeating yourself six times trains a child to wait for the sixth. A routine they own removes the need for any of them.
Built on Ellis Abel and the Red Block — “Big feelings. Small choices. Real accountability.” A character series, not a curriculum with a worldview attached.
The five sessions
- Session 1
Pick the one moment in the day that goes wrong most often
- Session 2
Read the story and name what is actually happening in it
- Session 3
Write the routine down in three steps a child can say back
- Session 4
Run it for a week without changing it, even on the bad days
- Session 5
Come back to it and let the child say what got easier
Questions leaders ask
Is listening the first time in your area a religious program?
No. Ellis Abel is a character series. Each volume carries one named core value — this one is accountability — and the story does the teaching. There is no doctrine in it, nothing to opt out of, and it is used in public schools, libraries and secular programs as readily as anywhere else.
What ages does this work for?
Ages 3-9. The story is read aloud, so a child who cannot read yet is fully in it, and the discussion prompts are written in two bands so one adult can hold a mixed-age room.
We have tried things like this in your area before and stopped. Why is this different?
Because it is ten minutes and it survives a missed night. There is no streak to break and nothing to catch up on — you pick up at the next chapter.
What if my child will not talk about it?
Then read it anyway and say nothing. Children answer days later, in the car, about something else entirely. The prompts are there when they are ready, not a toll you have to pay to finish the book.
The rules that make it work
This is a character story, not a behaviour plan
Ellis Abel is a core-values series. No child is assessed, scored, diagnosed or labelled anywhere in it. It gives a room shared language, and it stops there.
Big feelings are not misbehaviour
A four-year-old at full volume is not defying anyone. Treating the feeling as an offence teaches a child to hide it, which is the opposite of the skill.
Name first, always
Every attempt to fix a feeling before naming it fails, and it fails loudly. The order in the book is the order in the room.
Ownership is small and specific
"Be responsible" means nothing at four. One job, done alone, every day, means everything, and it generalises on its own.
Adults go first
The adult naming their own feeling out loud in front of the child does more work than any session. Children copy what they see under pressure.
Routines beat reminders
A routine a child can recite is theirs. A reminder an adult repeats is the adult's, and it has to be repeated forever.
Listening First Time by metro area
Northeast
- Listening First Time — New York, NY
- Listening First Time — Philadelphia, PA
- Listening First Time — Boston, MA
- Listening First Time — Pittsburgh, PA
- Listening First Time — Providence, RI
- Listening First Time — Hartford, CT
- Listening First Time — Buffalo, NY
- Listening First Time — Rochester, NY
- Listening First Time — Bridgeport, CT
- Listening First Time — Albany, NY
- Listening First Time — Worcester, MA
- Listening First Time — Allentown, PA
- Listening First Time — Poughkeepsie metro area, NY
- Listening First Time — Syracuse, NY
- Listening First Time — Harrisburg, PA
- Listening First Time — New Haven, CT
- Listening First Time — Portland, ME
- Listening First Time — Scranton, PA
- Listening First Time — Lancaster, PA
- Listening First Time — York, PA
- Listening First Time — Springfield, MA
- Listening First Time — Waterbury, CT
- Listening First Time — Reading, PA
- Listening First Time — Manchester, NH
- Listening First Time — Trenton, NJ
- Listening First Time — Atlantic City, NJ
- Listening First Time — Utica, NY
- Listening First Time — Norwich, CT
- Listening First Time — Erie, PA
- Listening First Time — Binghamton, NY
- Listening First Time — Barnstable, MA
- Listening First Time — Burlington, VT
- Listening First Time — Kingston, NY
- Listening First Time — Amherst, MA
- Listening First Time — Chambersburg, PA
- Listening First Time — Bangor, ME
- Listening First Time — State College, PA
- Listening First Time — Vineland, NJ
- Listening First Time — Lebanon, PA
- Listening First Time — Johnstown, PA
- Listening First Time — Pittsfield, MA
- Listening First Time — Glens Falls, NY
- Listening First Time — Altoona, PA
- Listening First Time — Lewiston, ME
- Listening First Time — Williamsport, PA
- Listening First Time — Watertown, NY
- Listening First Time — Gettysburg, PA
- Listening First Time — Ithaca, NY
- Listening First Time — Elmira, NY
Midwest
- Listening First Time — Chicago, IL
- Listening First Time — Detroit, MI
- Listening First Time — Minneapolis, MN
- Listening First Time — St. Louis, MO
- Listening First Time — Cincinnati, OH
- Listening First Time — Kansas City, MO
- Listening First Time — Columbus, OH
- Listening First Time — Indianapolis, IN
- Listening First Time — Cleveland, OH
- Listening First Time — Milwaukee, WI
- Listening First Time — Grand Rapids, MI
- Listening First Time — Omaha, NE
- Listening First Time — Dayton, OH
- Listening First Time — Des Moines, IA
- Listening First Time — Madison, WI
- Listening First Time — Akron, OH
- Listening First Time — Wichita, KS
- Listening First Time — Toledo, OH
- Listening First Time — Springfield, MO
- Listening First Time — Lansing, MI
- Listening First Time — Fort Wayne, IN
- Listening First Time — Youngstown, OH
- Listening First Time — Flint, MI
- Listening First Time — Canton, OH
- Listening First Time — Davenport, IA
- Listening First Time — Ann Arbor, MI
- Listening First Time — Peoria, IL
- Listening First Time — Lincoln, NE
- Listening First Time — Rockford, IL
- Listening First Time — Green Bay, WI
- Listening First Time — South Bend, IN
- Listening First Time — Sioux Falls, SD
- Listening First Time — Duluth, MN
- Listening First Time — Cedar Rapids, IA
- Listening First Time — Evansville, IN
- Listening First Time — Fargo, ND
- Listening First Time — Kalamazoo, MI
- Listening First Time — Appleton, WI
- Listening First Time — Champaign, IL
- Listening First Time — Topeka, KS
- Listening First Time — Rochester, MN
- Listening First Time — Lafayette, IN
- Listening First Time — Columbia, MO
- Listening First Time — Joplin, MO
- Listening First Time — Elkhart, IN
- Listening First Time — Springfield, IL
- Listening First Time — St. Cloud, MN
- Listening First Time — Racine, WI
- Listening First Time — Saginaw, MI
- Listening First Time — Iowa City, IA
- Listening First Time — Muskegon, MI
- Listening First Time — Eau Claire, WI
- Listening First Time — Oshkosh, WI
- Listening First Time — Bloomington, IL
- Listening First Time — La Crosse, WI
- Listening First Time — Terre Haute, IN
- Listening First Time — Waterloo, IA
- Listening First Time — Kenosha, WI
- Listening First Time — Janesville, WI
- Listening First Time — Bloomington, IN
- Listening First Time — Jackson, MI
- Listening First Time — Traverse City, MI
- Listening First Time — Rapid City, SD
- Listening First Time — Monroe, MI
- Listening First Time — Jefferson City, MO
- Listening First Time — Niles, MI
- Listening First Time — Sioux City, IA
- Listening First Time — Bismarck, ND
- Listening First Time — Wausau, WI
- Listening First Time — Manhattan, KS
- Listening First Time — Springfield, OH
- Listening First Time — Battle Creek, MI
- Listening First Time — Ames, IA
- Listening First Time — Mansfield, OH
- Listening First Time — Lawrence, KS
- Listening First Time — St. Joseph, MO
- Listening First Time — Sheboygan, WI
- Listening First Time — Muncie, IN
- Listening First Time — Sandusky, OH
- Listening First Time — Michigan City, IN
- Listening First Time — Kankakee, IL
- Listening First Time — Grand Forks, ND
- Listening First Time — Mankato, MN
- Listening First Time — Fond du Lac, WI
- Listening First Time — Bay City, MI
- Listening First Time — Lima, OH
- Listening First Time — Dubuque, IA
- Listening First Time — Decatur, IL
- Listening First Time — Cape Girardeau, MO
- Listening First Time — Columbus, IN
- Listening First Time — Kokomo, IN
- Listening First Time — Midland, MI
- Listening First Time — Grand Island, NE
- Listening First Time — Minot, ND
South
- Listening First Time — Dallas, TX
- Listening First Time — Houston, TX
- Listening First Time — Atlanta, GA
- Listening First Time — Washington, DC
- Listening First Time — Miami, FL
- Listening First Time — Tampa, FL
- Listening First Time — Orlando, FL
- Listening First Time — Charlotte, NC
- Listening First Time — Baltimore, MD
- Listening First Time — San Antonio, TX
- Listening First Time — Austin, TX
- Listening First Time — Nashville, TN
- Listening First Time — Virginia Beach, VA
- Listening First Time — Jacksonville, FL
- Listening First Time — Raleigh, NC
- Listening First Time — Oklahoma City, OK
- Listening First Time — Louisville, KY
- Listening First Time — Richmond, VA
- Listening First Time — Memphis, TN
- Listening First Time — Birmingham, AL
- Listening First Time — Tulsa, OK
- Listening First Time — Greenville, SC
- Listening First Time — New Orleans, LA
- Listening First Time — Knoxville, TN
- Listening First Time — Sarasota metro area, FL
- Listening First Time — McAllen, TX
- Listening First Time — Charleston, SC
- Listening First Time — Baton Rouge, LA
- Listening First Time — El Paso, TX
- Listening First Time — Columbia, SC
- Listening First Time — Cape Coral, FL
- Listening First Time — Lakeland, FL
- Listening First Time — Greensboro, NC
- Listening First Time — Little Rock, AR
- Listening First Time — Deltona, FL
- Listening First Time — Winston-Salem, NC
- Listening First Time — Palm Bay, FL
- Listening First Time — Augusta, GA
- Listening First Time — Durham, NC
- Listening First Time — Fayetteville, AR
- Listening First Time — Jackson, MS
- Listening First Time — Chattanooga, TN
- Listening First Time — Port St. Lucie, FL
- Listening First Time — Huntsville, AL
- Listening First Time — Pensacola, FL
- Listening First Time — Lexington, KY
- Listening First Time — Killeen, TX
- Listening First Time — Wilmington, NC
- Listening First Time — Corpus Christi, TX
- Listening First Time — Ocala, FL
- Listening First Time — Savannah, GA
- Listening First Time — Brownsville, TX
- Listening First Time — Gulfport, MS
- Listening First Time — Myrtle Beach, SC
- Listening First Time — Lafayette, LA
- Listening First Time — Asheville, NC
- Listening First Time — Naples, FL
- Listening First Time — Mobile, AL
- Listening First Time — Spartanburg, SC
- Listening First Time — Beaumont, TX
- Listening First Time — Tallahassee, FL
- Listening First Time — Fayetteville, NC
- Listening First Time — Montgomery, AL
- Listening First Time — Shreveport, LA
- Listening First Time — Hickory, NC
- Listening First Time — Lubbock, TX
- Listening First Time — Huntington, WV
- Listening First Time — Gainesville, FL
- Listening First Time — Clarksville, TN
- Listening First Time — Columbus, GA
- Listening First Time — Roanoke, VA
- Listening First Time — Hagerstown, MD
- Listening First Time — Fort Walton Beach metro area, FL
- Listening First Time — Kingsport, TN
- Listening First Time — Waco, TX
- Listening First Time — Longview, TX
- Listening First Time — College Station, TX
- Listening First Time — Tuscaloosa, AL
- Listening First Time — Laredo, TX
- Listening First Time — Slidell, LA
- Listening First Time — Amarillo, TX
- Listening First Time — Lynchburg, VA
- Listening First Time — Daphne, AL
- Listening First Time — Tyler, TX
- Listening First Time — Lake Charles, LA
- Listening First Time — Hilton Head Island, SC
- Listening First Time — Macon, GA
- Listening First Time — Fort Smith, AR
- Listening First Time — Panama City, FL
- Listening First Time — Charlottesville, VA
- Listening First Time — Gainesville, GA
- Listening First Time — Athens, GA
- Listening First Time — Monroe, LA
- Listening First Time — Punta Gorda, FL
- Listening First Time — Jacksonville, NC
- Listening First Time — Johnson City, TN
- Listening First Time — Lexington Park, MD
- Listening First Time — Warner Robins, GA
- Listening First Time — Auburn, AL
- Listening First Time — Florence, SC
- Listening First Time — Charleston, WV
- Listening First Time — Houma, LA
- Listening First Time — Bowling Green, KY
- Listening First Time — Dover, DE
- Listening First Time — Midland, TX
- Listening First Time — Burlington, NC
- Listening First Time — Abilene, TX
- Listening First Time — Jackson, TN
- Listening First Time — Greenville, NC
- Listening First Time — Blacksburg, VA
- Listening First Time — Odessa, TX
- Listening First Time — Vero Beach metro area, FL
- Listening First Time — Homosassa Springs, FL
- Listening First Time — Decatur, AL
- Listening First Time — Hattiesburg, MS
- Listening First Time — The Villages metro area, FL
- Listening First Time — Florence, AL
- Listening First Time — Dothan, AL
- Listening First Time — Sherman, TX
- Listening First Time — Valdosta, GA
- Listening First Time — Winchester, VA
- Listening First Time — Wichita Falls, TX
- Listening First Time — Rocky Mount, NC
- Listening First Time — Alexandria, LA
- Listening First Time — Dalton, GA
- Listening First Time — Texarkana, TX
- Listening First Time — Albany, GA
- Listening First Time — Morgantown, WV
- Listening First Time — Hammond, LA
- Listening First Time — Harrisonburg, VA
- Listening First Time — Jonesboro, AR
- Listening First Time — Wheeling, WV
- Listening First Time — Cleveland, TN
- Listening First Time — Salisbury, MD
- Listening First Time — Staunton, VA
- Listening First Time — Morristown, TN
- Listening First Time — Elizabethtown, KY
- Listening First Time — Lawton, OK
- Listening First Time — Goldsboro, NC
- Listening First Time — San Angelo, TX
- Listening First Time — Brunswick, GA
- Listening First Time — Anniston, AL
- Listening First Time — Owensboro, KY
- Listening First Time — Steubenville, WV
- Listening First Time — Sebring, FL
- Listening First Time — Pinehurst, NC
- Listening First Time — Beckley, WV
- Listening First Time — Sumter, SC
- Listening First Time — Gadsden, AL
- Listening First Time — Paducah, KY
- Listening First Time — Rome, GA
- Listening First Time — Victoria, TX
- Listening First Time — Hot Springs, AR
- Listening First Time — Hinesville, GA
- Listening First Time — Parkersburg, WV
- Listening First Time — Enid, OK
- Listening First Time — Eagle Pass, TX
West
- Listening First Time — Los Angeles, CA
- Listening First Time — Phoenix, AZ
- Listening First Time — Riverside, CA
- Listening First Time — San Francisco, CA
- Listening First Time — Seattle, WA
- Listening First Time — San Diego, CA
- Listening First Time — Denver, CO
- Listening First Time — Portland, OR
- Listening First Time — Sacramento, CA
- Listening First Time — Las Vegas, NV
- Listening First Time — San Jose, CA
- Listening First Time — Salt Lake City, UT
- Listening First Time — Fresno, CA
- Listening First Time — Tucson, AZ
- Listening First Time — Honolulu, HI
- Listening First Time — Bakersfield, CA
- Listening First Time — Albuquerque, NM
- Listening First Time — Boise, ID
- Listening First Time — Oxnard, CA
- Listening First Time — Stockton, CA
- Listening First Time — Colorado Springs, CO
- Listening First Time — Provo, UT
- Listening First Time — Ogden, UT
- Listening First Time — Spokane, WA
- Listening First Time — Reno, NV
- Listening First Time — Modesto, CA
- Listening First Time — Santa Rosa, CA
- Listening First Time — Visalia, CA
- Listening First Time — Vallejo, CA
- Listening First Time — Salem, OR
- Listening First Time — Santa Maria, CA
- Listening First Time — Salinas, CA
- Listening First Time — Anchorage, AK
- Listening First Time — Eugene, OR
- Listening First Time — Greeley, CO
- Listening First Time — Fort Collins, CO
- Listening First Time — Boulder, CO
- Listening First Time — Kennewick, WA
- Listening First Time — Olympia, WA
- Listening First Time — Merced, CA
- Listening First Time — Bremerton, WA
- Listening First Time — San Luis Obispo, CA
- Listening First Time — Bend, OR
- Listening First Time — Yakima, WA
- Listening First Time — Santa Cruz, CA
- Listening First Time — Prescott metro area, AZ
- Listening First Time — Bellingham, WA
- Listening First Time — Las Cruces, NM
- Listening First Time — Lake Havasu City, AZ
- Listening First Time — Yuma, AZ
- Listening First Time — Medford, OR
- Listening First Time — St. George, UT
- Listening First Time — Chico, CA
- Listening First Time — Billings, MT
- Listening First Time — Coeur d'Alene, ID
- Listening First Time — Yuba City, CA
- Listening First Time — Redding, CA
- Listening First Time — El Centro, CA
- Listening First Time — Idaho Falls, ID
- Listening First Time — Pueblo, CO
- Listening First Time — Grand Junction, CO
- Listening First Time — Logan, UT
- Listening First Time — Maui, HI
- Listening First Time — Santa Fe, NM
- Listening First Time — Hanford, CA
- Listening First Time — Flagstaff, AZ
- Listening First Time — Mount Vernon, WA
- Listening First Time — Napa, CA
- Listening First Time — Albany, OR
- Listening First Time — Bozeman, MT
- Listening First Time — Missoula, MT
- Listening First Time — Wenatchee, WA
- Listening First Time — Sierra Vista, AZ
- Listening First Time — Twin Falls, ID
- Listening First Time — Farmington, NM
- Listening First Time — Longview, WA
- Listening First Time — Cheyenne, WY
- Listening First Time — Corvallis, OR
- Listening First Time — Helena, MT
- Listening First Time — Fairbanks, AK
- Listening First Time — Pocatello, ID
- Listening First Time — Grants Pass, OR
- Listening First Time — Great Falls, MT
- Listening First Time — Casper, WY
- Listening First Time — Lewiston, ID
- Listening First Time — Walla Walla, WA
- Listening First Time — Carson City, NV
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